On Shotguns

 

‘Pull!’ Bang, Pull!’ Bang, - ‘Oh Bugger’! The ravings of a madman? No me at a clay shoot and my reaction at having missed a very easy shot, with The Mem., in the background laughing like a drain! On this particular day we were shooting at the Cowdray Estate in Midhurst and I had just discovered that my Barbour needed re-proofing. Thus the fact that I had missed and The Mem's humour did nothing to improve my mood. Generally however I enjoy shooting immensely as it appeals to my baser human instincts, even if the quarry is only a small black clay disk. There is nothing quite like the satisfaction one gains from seeing the clay disappear in what seems to be a puff of smoke when it is hit by pellets from a shotgun.

Everyone in the land has the right to own a shotgun, subject to passing police checks on their background and home security, which does take a little of the romance out of the notion of defending home and homestead  against marauding redskins and various fierce representatives of the local wild life. Mind you in sleepy Haslemere the fiercest wildlife there is is the local neighbour hood watch coordinator and shooting them whilst perhaps  a service to mankind is not generally advisable. The term shotgun is comparatively recent, first coined by James Fennimore Cooper in one of his many stories of life in the Wild West, in 1776.

Prior to this date they were generally referred to as "scatterguns", "fowling pieces" or "two-shoot guns". Essentially, early muzzle-loading shotguns were identical to muskets, in that they were both smoothbore weapons that were often used to fire multiple projectiles. The shotgun has fallen in and out of favour with military forces several times in its long history. Shotguns and similar weapons are simpler than long-range rifles, and were developed earlier. The development of more accurate and deadlier long-range rifles minimized the usefulness of the shotgun on the open battlefields of European wars. But armies have "rediscovered" the shotgun for specialty uses many times.” It is a matter of historic fact that a formal protest was made by the Germans during the Great War because the allies were using shotguns in the trenches – oh how unsporting!

Shotguns are fascinating pieces of equipment for a number of reasons. On a cold day with wind howling through the trees, one can gain a huge amount of comfort from holding a shotgun even if it’s not loaded. They somehow take the user back to a time when life was so much simpler. No TVs, no ipods, no pre-packaged food. OK there was more disease and mortality rates were higher, but that’s mere detail! Unlike other firearms they are not especially complicated which means they are very easy to strip and clean, even for an engineering ignoramus like myself.

Shotguns come in many forms and cost from £50 for an old second hand ‘garden shed’ gun to many thousands of pounds for a handmade Purdey, Churchill or Boss. Our most expensive shotgun is an over and under Browning which I bought for the princely sum of £675 from one of the local firearms dealers. To me this gun is as lovely to behold as a gun costing far more and the smell of gun oil emanating from the gun cabinet promises many delights. The simple act of lubricating what few moving parts there are and running a slightly oily cloth over the polished stock is tremendously soporific and one can just imagine the craftsman who devoted so many hours of his life to the creation of a wonderful tool

Both of us believe in shooting for the pot, seeing no point in blasting away all day at creatures we will never eat – foxes of course are the exception! It was therefore with howls of glee that I welcomed the sight of a pheasant circling round the garden in early December as I wanted a brace for our Christmas lunch. As it happened I had my old side by side (£100 from a game fair) and a couple of Eley Number 5 32g close to hand. As the pheasant circled lower BAM! I let it have the first barrel and even though I say it myself it was a good shoot. The bird started to crash and with the dambuster music playing somewhere in my mind I did think all that was missing was smoke coming out of the back.

The bird still had a little life in it when it hit the ground but rather than wring its neck, I let it have the second barrel. It was now very definitely dead. Whilst it is probably now not PC to say so I like my game well hung. The bird ended up in the garden shed and a week later I went to dress it. The shed had that unique gamey smell which to a country man is nectar to the nostrils.

Unfortunately this is when I discovered I had made a bad mistake. The bird, because of having both barrels, was now more colander than pheasant, and fit only to be fox food. Mind you on the plus side the fox that had been bothering my chickens, if it eats the pheasant, has a good chance of contracting lead poisoning!